I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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