I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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