Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
