so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
