He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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