My underwear smells like fireworks.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He better not be in your backpack
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
