I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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