if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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