He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
