Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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