they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
one two three fourrrrnication!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she smelled like a LAN party
vagina is talking i cant
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
