Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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