He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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