Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
