I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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