Cold hands, warm shart.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
