You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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