We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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