some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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