Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
