remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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