idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
