You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
