xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
