i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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