halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
