Define "chronic" masturbator.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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