Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
