I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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