So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
