The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
