i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
