I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
