so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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