They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can I color on your dick again?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize