Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
