nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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