I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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