Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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