I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
