good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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