but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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