You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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