so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
