I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
