cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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