Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize