the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
