I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
