u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
