this beer tastes like vomit already
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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