i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
