She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
this boner is exhausting
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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