I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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