party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
