YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
