My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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