So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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