Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
