Sponge bath it is.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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