OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
