come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize