so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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