I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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