If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
