Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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