can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
