So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
God, I missed his penis.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize