Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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