TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
